Stress

I have a difficult time dealing with stress.  I am still finding it difficult to adjust to this new place, especially the people.  I moved from an historically conservative area to what is thought to be a liberal part of the country.  I am finding homophobia here, possibly more so than the place from where we moved (this "hiding" where I live makes for very messy sentences).  I am feeling despondent about finding several people in my new work situation to be homophobic.  Luckily I don't work FOR any of the people I work WITH, but it still makes an uncomfortable work situation. 

I don't mean to continually contrast my new home with my old home.  I don't even mean to complain about it, but I must admit I am terribly homesick.  I miss my old job, the mostly wonderful people with whom I worked (I don NOT miss the hour commute to drive 17 miles), and I miss my friends, even though those dwindled to a few after the babies were born.  I miss knowing the best restaurants to go to (hell, I miss ALL of the wonderful "casual enough to bring your two year old twins but still fine dining" restaurants that don't seem to exist here).  I miss that I would already be warm on most days and the world would be beginning to bloom already and the sun would most probably be shining on me. 

I have to admit that I am sad, I miss what feels like home to me.

There are so many more great things about here, like the fact that there are sidewalks on almost every street and people aren't TRYING to hit you and your stroller with their car while they are driving 60 miles an hour on a residential street.  It's nice to live in a Blue State for once, not be a Blue Dot in a Red State.  And there are SOME shrubs trying to bloom and scent the air.  It's nice to pay for full-time day care and it STILL costs less than  childcare for three days a week (although it is NOT APA and APA YOU WERE WORTH EVERY PENNY, DAMMIT). 

This new job is not my ideal and I'm not sure it's what I want to do, but at the same time I don't want to feel so stressed by the effort I give-up and fail.

Oi.  I may remove this post (or not) if I re-read it and it sounds too whiny (whiney???).

And why don't I ever write a nice treastise on something intellectual and thought provoking like other bloggers.  Something like, "The Existential Life: Translating the Sociophilosophical Homogenized Aspect of the of the Mother Mothering a Nursing Toddler While with Mother Rage."  I am SO apathetic and pathetic.  Yawn.

Comments

[Stacie]

"The Existential Life: Translating the Sociophilosophical Homogenized Aspect of the of the Mother Mothering a Nursing Toddler While with Mother Rage" sounds like torture to read.

I hope you settle in to your new place and feel less stressed soon.

[Ally]

I'm sorry you're deal with stupid ignorant people at work and elsewhere. I hope you feel at home soon.

I'll never be one of "those" bloggers. So I just jabber away to myself. Your corner of cyberspace, say what you want!

[Liza]

Let me also chime in with the whole "we come here to read you and hear what's up in your life" chorus.

If you DO post "The Existential Life: Translating the Sociophilosophical Homogenized Aspect of the of the Mother Mothering a Nursing Toddler While with Mother Rage" I'll try my best to read it, but it's not what I'm looking for.

Incidentally? Moving to a new place sucks ass. Especially from about the 3rd month to maybe a year. My opinion when single was that the first 6 months were the hardest, but I think with little ones, it's longer.

But it does start to get better. It really, really does.

WRT the homophobia in New Town, I am so sorry. That just is miserable. Especially to have to deal with it as yet another stressor on a job you don't otherwise completely love.

The house across the street from us is for sale. You could come live there!

[Steph]

hey there....sorry to hear that things are less than stellar with you right now. it's your blog, dammit, so you say exactly how you feel. :)

I'm sorry that I never got back to you re the nursing....shoot me an email sometime and I promise this time I'll write back! ((hugs))

[Robin Reagler]

Change is so hard, and you've had to deal with a whole lot of it. I send you some good vibes from down in Texas.