I think I rarely write anymore about my children, or what it is like to parent two two-year-olds. I write about the frustration I feel, or my depression, or how much I'm eating and gaining, but not about my children.
Mini has become the Little Tyrant in our househ0ld. Her sweet and affectionate nature is balanced with a bossy and knows-what-she-wants attitude. She is often the instigator in any household crime, whether it be stealing bathroom sundries from the bathroom counter, or even climbing on the bathroom stool and "brushing her teeth" when I'm on the other side of the house (damn these 1950s ranch houses). I don't THINK Jr. has the natural cunning to get up to these high jinks on his own. She is extremely attached to me, and I think this stay at home mom gig has increased that attachment. I'm a bit concerned as I will be looking for a retail job while waiting for a professional job to open in this area, and will be attempting to work nights. She will have to be able to go to sleep without nursing soon.
Mini will not, will not involve herself in an independent activity for more than 5 minutes per day. She is either trailing me, holding onto my leg while I stagger across the kitchen trying not to let her fall, or pounding me with a book demanding I read it to her. She will NOT read it to herself, no way.
Jr. What can I say about him except I have recently become the villain in his life and I'm not sure why. When J was gone on a business trip and he awoke in the night, he would simply cry, not cry out "mommy" (me). Normally he cries out to "mama" (J) immediately, but while J was out of town he apprently knew that was useless and simply cried. I can comfort him, I am searched for in a room full of tots and moms (if J is not there), but if J is around I am a spawn of satan. I reach to caress his head, he shrieks like I've stuck something sharp under his fingernails. He has even run to J and grabbed her leg with a look at me, like, "you can't catch me here. See Mama, what that mean Mommy tries to do to me? See? We should just get rid of her already." I'm hoping this is just a developmental stage and does not speak for my parenting skills. He looks at me as if I am truly evil. It's bizarre.
BUT, he is my sweet boy, my little guy who can get caught up in his own play for many many minutes at a time, who loves to look at books and talk about the pictures to himself. The cutest thing he does now as he falls asleep is he'll randomly and sleepily recite lines from various books, from The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss, "slooow feet, QUICK feet, SIIIIICK feet (when we were all sick)", or from Goodnight Gorilla, "goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight," which is much cuter than typed out here, as he attempts to do the various animal voices I have created for each "goodnight" from a squeaky mouse to a big elephant to a gangly gorilla.
Sometimes I wish I could record the things heard over the baby monitor.
We are still bottling/nursing at bedtime. I know, I KNOW, but I still don't think my kids drink enough fluids during the day to just throw them into bed at bedtime. I'm not sure how to transition to a bedtime ritual without milk and still get enough fluid in them daily.
In other realms, my house is disorganized, my finances are disoranized, my files or in disarray so I am late in bill payments (not me AT ALL). I am overwhelmed and scared about money which makes me procrastinate in looking at our account and paying bills. I need to get it and my files together (somehow it seems they are related). Ugh. Moving across country bites the big one, don't let anyone tell you different.
Didn't mean to end on a negative. The babies (TODDLERS) are adorable and lively and maddening and keep me on my toes all day every day. I couldn't love them more. We are definitley reevaluating our decision to have another, however, wanting more and more to focus our energy (ENERGY) and attention and time and money on these two, rather than adding another. There is great ambivalence (SP) in this decision for us, but I am becoming more at peace with the idea of stopping here. They are, of themselves, perfection.
