Mother's Day

In honor of LGBT Family Blogging Day, I have written a  post.  I am also VERY VERY excited to announce that I convinced J to write a post as well.  So the post just above this one is J's, and it brought tears to my eyes.  AND, she wrote it before she read what I wrote, so you see?  How well I know that woman?  See, Internet??

Again, hurried, couldn't proof read...

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I want my own day.  I want a day to be fed breakfast in bed by my family, have my feet rubbed, be worshipped at the Shrine of Mommy.  I thought about that this past Mother's Day while reading the blogs of other parents.   I read about someone being sent for a pedicure, or a big family brunch in Mom and Grandmother's honor.  I thought about how we spent Mother's Day this year, awake at 5 AM and getting breakfast ready for two sick kids who wouldn't eat it.  I wanted my own day.

What does one do (or what do two do), as two moms?  I contemplated asking J to accept the date of Father's Day as her parental celebration day, her day to sleep-in, get breakfast in bed, get a foot massage, get worshipped at the Shrine of the Other Mother.  Then I thought that wasn't fair;  it was, in fact, ridiculous.  Ridiculous in the same way that me trying to teach the babies the sign for "mama" to be the sign universally used for father.  She IS their mother, as much as I am. 

Never, not once, not for a second before the babies were born was I concerned that I would feel ownership for the children over J. Never, not once, not for a second did I think J would fail to feel ownership as a mother.  I always knew and still know that J is the best mother I could have chosen to raise our children.  And I know that J has never felt like these kids of ours, these shining stars in our lives, are less hers than mine.  If I ever fail anything in our relationship, it will NEVER be that.  I know for a fact that J feels as if our children have completed her life, given her a renewed sense of self.  She is really the best mother they could have.  And so I will share Mother's Day with her, forever and ever.  I will give-up the fantasy of sleeping late, breakfast in bed, foot massage, and worship at the Shrine of Mom.  Some people may balk at this, but I think I made a choice at some point, to not hide behind a heterosexual relationship, to live my life as a lesbian.  In doing so I gave-up not only the right to sleep late, breakfast in bed, foot massage, worship at the Shrine of Mom on Mother's Day; I lost many many of my human rights.  But the rewards from my little family creation have been more than worth it. 

Comments

[Ally]

I honestly never thought of Mother/Father's day in these terms. I wish I could say it's amazing how skewed our society is toward hetero relationships, but alas, it's not. Sad, but not amazing.

[MOT]

My goodness, we should all be as generous...

I was a bit annoyed I didn't get to sleep in on Mother's Day, but with two and a half year old twin boys, I *never* get to sleep in anyway.

May I be sickeningly sweet and write - Everyday is Mother's Day?

No, it doesn't make much sense to me either...I read that in Reader's Digest at the dentist.

[Liza]

I'm not sure Mini & Jr could pay for a mani/pedi yet, although Mini's wonderful skill at making theatrical faces might talk someone into giving one away.

I don't think either of you have to give up being worshipped at the shrine of the mother, at least not forever. The day off, that you probably do have to give up. :)