The Baby Juggler

Too Cute!

J had knee surgery recently (what kind of crack were we smoking when we decided to get a puppy the week I got a new job AND J was having knee surgery?).  So her knee is really hurting, enough that she is now back on crutches.  J and Mini were sitting on the couch reading books when Mini said, "I want yeeddel [little] purrrple scrutches.  Mommy will buy dem at da store."

Sorry, One More Post

I am a Dorothy Dunnett convert and addict.  I tried to read The Game of Kings about two years ago.  It was way over my head and a LOT of work.  It was, in fact, quite a struggle to read.  Then there was a scene that mildly horrified me and I just stopped and put it down. 

I occasional frequent a books board of one of my favorite authors and this author and these books just kept coming up.  Well, I read so much I literally run out of quality fiction that is to my taste, so I decided to try again.  I read beyond the point I stopped last time, even skimming some of the beginning.  I found I had to ignore many of the quotes, poetry, French quotations that I didn't understand or was too lazy to google.  I fell in love.  With an author, a series, a main character. 

Reading these books feels like what Cesar's dogs must feel like.  After a brief interlude with some other very good authors, I am back reading a second series and I feel like I am in the competent hands of a master.  So even though I am literally too stupid to "get" much of what she writes (incredibly, I truly think the author is Mensa material on steriods), she is such a fabulous storyteller that I get carried away anyway.

Anyone interested in the literary ride of their life?  Care for a challenge (get past page 100)?  Love to discuss Dorothy Dunnett with me?  Please?

Apa is Famous!

Happy Birthday to you, Apa!  I meant to post that yesterday, on your actual birthday but I went off on a tangent and, well, you know me, hon.  You are getting old now, aren't you?  I think you are maybe only three years from your goal of your own children.  Speaking of which, we are in a parenting class and were joking about being ten years younget than we are.  I said, "well, then I'm only 25" and another woman who must have been sleeping during the discussion said in insulting surprise (nee, shock, nee astonishment, nee flabbergastedness) "really!?"  Wow.  I really didn't think it was THAT much of a stretch but...  Well, anyway, here are some parenting things to look forward to...

Mini:

1) If I attempt to either help her onto or help her off (i.e. pick her up cause she takes her own sweet damn time) the bathroom step stool, she insists on starting again FROM THE BEGINNING.  This occurs even if she got herself onto the bottom step and all I did was attempt to pick her up.  She must go all the way back up to the second (top) step and climb back down again.  This applies to any action.  So it may be climbing into her car seat or pulling down her pants.  Lord save me from this child.  I am the least patient person on this earth.  Do you think I'm supposed to learn something from this?

2)  She saw our Chessie puppy trying to pick-up a piece of ice.  The ice slid across the floor and Mini said, "She's ICE SKATING."  The kid is a freaking genius.  She really scares me, sometimes.

Jr.:

1) has reached the apex of the whiny/squealy behavior.  I can only imagine it is downhill from here because it can't get much worse.  Privacy fences are very big around here and our Very Quiet Neighbors suggested that they replace the section between our houses.  They have two small kids and one on the way (very, very soon).  It's getting kind of nice outside and unless I listen very closely I can't even tell they are in their back yard.  Funny that, the fence that the Neighbor Man decided to build is about a foot and a half taller than the average privacy fence.  Although a fence is really not much of a sound barrier, I can only imagine they wanted as much of any kind of barrier between the whining/ screaming/ demanding two and a halfers and their mommy in mother rage AND puppy rage.  Where is my Prozac?  Anyone think I can afford to start now when nursing just twice a day (yes, g-d, I am still nursing twice a day, although some mornings Mini leaves for daycare without asking to nurse and I am NOT offering).

2) Jr. is all about J again.  For a while I had him back but I am the boogieman again.  Could it be my mother rage?  Poor guy.  He wants Mommy on Prozac.

3) Jr. just chats and chats away about any topic that comes into his head, mostly about the cars and trucks and excavators and bulldozers in his life.  He will discuss the finer points of each and also tell stories about them.  He can recite lines from the movie Cars.  He even corrects me if I get the line a leeetle bit wrong.  He is also very social at times, with a ready and resounding "yes" whenever an older child asks him to play.

This afternoon in the yard Mini and Jr. somehow ended up standing next to each other on a one story brick retaining wall singning "The Wheels on the Bus" in freaking UNISON (percisely "the babies on the bus go wah, wah, wah" line).  They were performing!  Oh my god, where was my camera to take a video?

Exercise, Discipline, THEN Affection, got it?

I have no free time.  The little horrors devils angels are throwing multiple tantrums multiple times a day.  Since daycare, they are going to bed later and crabbier and spending their afternoons at home struggling for my attention (or J's when she's on call).  To make matters worse we had a bright idea.  Its name is Chessie and

it's a pain in the ass.  But it is very cute, so I guess the Little Shit can stay.  My only concern is that she gets enough attention that Ceasar doesn't need to visit us in a couple of years.  That would suck.

Speaking of Ceasar.  I always wonder how he behaves towards his family.  As the Alpha Male does he nip at his childrens' necks with his fingers to prevent them touching the electrical outlets?  Does he encourage his wife to wean by her snarling and snapping at the babies when she feels it's time to get them off the breast? 

I imagine him tiring his toddlers with "exercise" first thing in the morning prior to any necessary "discipline", possibly a poke on the neck for jumping on the bed,  followed by a wee bit of "affection" snuggle time just before the morning nap.

Ahhh, Ceasar, come and help me with this yappy, barky, bitey, snappy, and PEEING pup.  Let me know when to relax (she is just a baby after all) and when to get all Alpha on her ass. 

Stress

I have a difficult time dealing with stress.  I am still finding it difficult to adjust to this new place, especially the people.  I moved from an historically conservative area to what is thought to be a liberal part of the country.  I am finding homophobia here, possibly more so than the place from where we moved (this "hiding" where I live makes for very messy sentences).  I am feeling despondent about finding several people in my new work situation to be homophobic.  Luckily I don't work FOR any of the people I work WITH, but it still makes an uncomfortable work situation. 

I don't mean to continually contrast my new home with my old home.  I don't even mean to complain about it, but I must admit I am terribly homesick.  I miss my old job, the mostly wonderful people with whom I worked (I don NOT miss the hour commute to drive 17 miles), and I miss my friends, even though those dwindled to a few after the babies were born.  I miss knowing the best restaurants to go to (hell, I miss ALL of the wonderful "casual enough to bring your two year old twins but still fine dining" restaurants that don't seem to exist here).  I miss that I would already be warm on most days and the world would be beginning to bloom already and the sun would most probably be shining on me. 

I have to admit that I am sad, I miss what feels like home to me.

There are so many more great things about here, like the fact that there are sidewalks on almost every street and people aren't TRYING to hit you and your stroller with their car while they are driving 60 miles an hour on a residential street.  It's nice to live in a Blue State for once, not be a Blue Dot in a Red State.  And there are SOME shrubs trying to bloom and scent the air.  It's nice to pay for full-time day care and it STILL costs less than  childcare for three days a week (although it is NOT APA and APA YOU WERE WORTH EVERY PENNY, DAMMIT). 

This new job is not my ideal and I'm not sure it's what I want to do, but at the same time I don't want to feel so stressed by the effort I give-up and fail.

Oi.  I may remove this post (or not) if I re-read it and it sounds too whiny (whiney???).

And why don't I ever write a nice treastise on something intellectual and thought provoking like other bloggers.  Something like, "The Existential Life: Translating the Sociophilosophical Homogenized Aspect of the of the Mother Mothering a Nursing Toddler While with Mother Rage."  I am SO apathetic and pathetic.  Yawn.

This is Going to be Short

Starting the new job tomorrow.  Am posting today because I PROMISED someone I would.  Hi, Apa.

We got the new pup today, her name is Cheshire in honor of our old city.  We are calling her "Chessie".  She is a dream so far, for a puppy.  Will post pics as soon as I have time.

We've been crazy busy which is why I haven't been posting.  J's been devoting all her time for the Big Test which is now done, thank the lord and pass the ammo and all that.

Cute things the babies have said of late.

Mini, looking at her cup of water with no ice while Jr.'s cup is full of ice- "My ice popped."

Jr. while I was putting yet more damn anti-fungal cream on his genital area- "Mommy, I won't eat the medicine (cream)." -pause- "Cause I'm a good boy."

You May Have Noticed the Housekeeping

This is in keeping with being more big and gay.  Or gay and big.  Anyway, I feel the need to press the gay and lesbian parenting issues a bit, as having children has thrown us into a different financial stratosphere.  It would be nice to know if something happened to either of us, we would have the other's social security benefit, for example.  Anyway, CIVIL RIGHTS FOR QUEERS NOW!  EQUALITY NOW!

Carry on.

The World According to Costco

Who else loves to go to Costco just to eat the free samples?  Why are we like fish in a tank, hovering near the food cart waiting for the sample lady to place her item on the tray, then fighting each other to reach the food first?  Or is it just me?  Oh, but it's not, cause it was about six other piglets hovering with me. 

So I made the mistake of once or twice going to Costco and getting the kids a hot dog to share (which they are not even that crazy about, but I really like the price and the drink IS included).  Now every time we go to Costco we have to get a freaking hot dog or they lose their minds.  They do not understand why Mommy doesn't do the same exact thing everywhere we go.  Like when we go to the big store at the mall with the play area?  WHY AREN'T WE GOING TO PLAY TODAY, MOMMY?  MOMMY?

Heard in the Baby Monitor This Morning

Jr. coughing due to the recent typhoid influenza cold outbreak at our house.

Mini says, "Are you ok, Jr.?"

Jr. says, "No.  [pause]  I am HOP-PY [happy]."

Mini says, "Okay, that's fine."

Jobs and Head Injuries

The other day Mini's chair fell straight back, banging her head and back flat onto the hard kitchen floor.  She was in her booster, which was strapped onto the chair.  This was frightening to me for several reasons:  One, I think y'all know about my fear of head injuries, Two, um, it hurt her and was a head injury, and Three, it was very very loud and sounded terrible and was a head injury.  The nice Man-Nurse advice nurse at our pediatrician's office was not concerned, and as she is fine now, I am not either.  The only positive to this is that she is now more cautios about pushing her chair away from the table with her feet, which has been a really really REALLY annoying game for the past three months or so.  If I could have achieved this without the head bump, I certainly would, but it IS a definite benefit.

In the next two weeks I have a few job interviews lined-up, as well as one lunch that is not an official job interview, but we'll see what happens.

In my "interview" tomorrow, I am going to propose to a professional I have never met to allow me to become her partner in the future and share profits in her business, should I be able to build the current practice.  She is going to think I am incredibly presumptious and throw me out of her office and warn EVERYONE in this darned small town not to hire me.  I am not really persuasive by nature.  I am scared and more scared that I'll chicken out when the time comes.

So, keep fingers and toes crossed that SOMETHING good happens soon on the job front.

Going to watch Top Chef now, the ONLY reason to have cable.